Depression
Depression in men is often not recognised because it can look completely different from female depression. In his book Male Menopause, Jed Diamond says that men undergoing menopause are more likely to act out their inner turmoil, while women are more likely to turn their feelings inward. He uses this chart to illustrate the difference between male and female depression:
Female Depression vs Male Depression
F: Blames herself
M:
Feels others are to blame
F: Feels sad, apathetic
and worthless
M: Feels angry, irritable and
ego-inflated
F: Feels anxious and scared
M:
Feels suspicious and guarded
F: Avoids conflict at
all costs
M: Creates conflict
F:
Always tries to be nice
M: Overtly or covertly
hostile
F: Withdraws when feeling hurt
M:
Attacks when feeling hurt
F: Has trouble with
self-respect
M: Demands respect from others
F:
Feels she was born to fail
M: Feels the world set
him up to fail
F: Slowed down and nervous
M:
Restless and agitated
F: Chronic procrastinator
M:
Compulsive time-keeper
F: Sleeps too much
M:
Sleeps too little
F: Trouble setting boundaries
M:
Needs control at all costs
F: Feels guilty for
what she does
M: Feels ashamed of who he is
F:
Uncomfortable receiving praise
M: Frustrated if not
praised enough
F: Finds it easy to talk about
weaknesses and doubts
M: Terrified to talk about
weaknesses and doubts
F: Strong fear of success
M:
Strong fear of failure
F: Needs to 'blend in' to
feel safe
M: Needs to be 'top dog' to feel safe
F:
Uses food, friends and 'love' to self-medicate
M:
Uses alcohol, TV, sports and sex to self-medicate
F:
Believes her problems could be solved only if she could be a better
spouse, co-worker, parent, friend
M: Believes his
problems could be solved only if his spouse, co-worker, parent, friend
would treat him better
F: Constantly wonders, "Am I
lovable enough?"
M: Constantly wonders, "Am I being
loved enough?"